So, as one tends to do when doing new things, I’ve realized my limits by reaching them.
I worked myself raw last month and blundered into Feb. with the same mindset, which drove me, face first, into burnout. I don’t experience burnout often because I’ve tried to be more realistic with my goals of late, but necessity gave my determination an inflated ego . . . that exploded in the form of a mild depressive episode, questioning my career choice, my motives, the quality of my work — it was an altogether not fun time last week. But I stepped back and assessed.
“Is this the mindset you want for yourself before Hippos?” I asked myself.
“No, of course not!”
“Then do something about it!”
And thus I did, lol.
I took Thur. through Sun. off from writing to spend time with family and friends and just relax for a bit — it’s easy to forget when consumed in one’s work, but your mental stability and emotional state need to be attended to from time to time. And now, on this fine Wed. morning, I’m back at it and ready to tackle my projects . . . although, with the little time I have left, my plans have altered slightly.
All six chapters in Project Murder House for this cycle have been drafted and edited to draft 2 — which is what I was most concerned with — but the two short stories in Project Apocalypse and the new chapter in Our Holy Mother book2 have yet to be drafted, let alone edited. AND PMH still needs 3rd draft edits. If I allot a day for drafting and a day for editing each new installment, plus the two days needed to edit PMH a second time, that gives me eight days of nonstop work . . . I only have nine days (counting today) before we set up for Hippos and I’m forced to set writing aside.
So, to keep myself sane and still get work done, I’ve decided to make PMH’s 3rd draft edits, and the drafting of PA’s 6th and 7th short stories and OHM B2’s chapter 12 mandatory, while the latter’s 2nd draft edits will be icing on the cake. That’ll leave me with just five days of nonstop work and a leisurely few days leading up to The Hippo Events. That’s manageable, attainable, and still a butt-ton of work to have accomplished in a workweek (~ish).
Well, having written it out like this quells some of my anxiety — it really is something that can be done, and I’m someone who can do it.
It’s so easy to fall into a negative spiral of doubt and self-hatred — that why so many people with amazing story ideas never do anything to bring that story into existence. So many creatives have beautiful worlds cooking at the back of their minds, and stories, characters, surprises, narratives, themes, pros that could smack people in the face and earn a “thank you.” But they don’t think their idea’s good enough, or they aren’t talented enough, or no one would be interested in their work — horse apples! There isn’t a single creative in the history of the world that ever went into a project and made what they saw in their mind’s eye on the first try — there’s always twists and plotholes that need addressing, fixing, tweaking, but that’s what makes it fun!
When I write the first draft, it is absolute garbage — better garbage than when I first started back in 2019, but garbage nonetheless. If you don’t expect a carpenter to tap their chisel on a piece of wood and it become a table, then you shouldn’t expect a masterpiece to appear when you first touch your computer keys/pen/pencil. Art takes time. Art worth looking at, more so. Art worth admiration, even more. And good art . . . well, that could take a lifetime. Patience, endurance, persistence, stubbornness, determination — these are the pressures that make stories great like the pressures that crush carbon into diamonds. But — little known fact — diamonds require intense pressure and heat followed immediately by a lack of pressure and heat to become diamonds. So, we’ve got the pressure and heat, but the violent vomiting from the belly of the Earth that finally makes a diamond? That, dear reader, is excitement, love, and passion.
Drive your creations with steadfast perseverance and bull-like determination against all that the world tells you, but do it in love of your creation or else your diamonds may turn into volcanic glass — beautiful, yes, but common and nowhere near as valuable or memorable.
Alright, y’all, that’s it from me today. Bye!